TMI Tuesday, 22nd December 2020 – Helen Answers

Good evening lovelies.

Goodness, what a day it’s been! I’ve been so busy today changing from my old blog to the new one but we did it and we are live. It feels strange, but a good strange, and all in time for Christmas. I know that Matt found today’s questions a bit challenging but you will see him shine in due course, I’m sure. I really wanted to get our new blog live in time for today’s TMI Tuesday so that we could give you that double dose and we did it – I’m so happy! I’ve still got plenty to do ahead of Friday, but that’s okay, I’m still on track – kinda 😉

Okay, onto today’s questions.

1. What’s your best excuse to get out of an invitation?

Yeesh, okay, so, I’d love to go with that usual “I’d never make an excuse” blah blah, but let’s get real, we all have things we’d rather not be doing. I can think of a handful of cases where I’ve made my excuses, two of them were weddings. Let’s start off with my aunt wo I’d rather not see, as that’s sort of the least dramatic. I have an aunt who likes to live and act like she is richer than she is and always looks down on me, so if I get invited to visit, I just say that I can’t go. It’s bad I know, but I’m not going to grace anyone with my company if they don’t respect me. She’s not rich, and she certainly wouldn’t be so comfortable without her husband.

As for the weddings, the first was not long after ours. It was a bit of a posh do with a five-course evening meal at the restaurant the groom worked at, and he’s just one of those annoying people that’s really full of themselves. Not only, but before they got together and before Matt and I were official, the bride had a one-night stand with my now-husband, so you can understand why she gets my hackles up a little bit. Anyway, we just knew this wedding was going to be a boring and formal affair full of the groom showing off, so we said we couldn’t get anyone to look after the dog, which later turned out to be true anyway. On the other occasion, the bride had been stealing bits and pieces from our wedding reception, and this is no joke, she picked a fight with a bridesmaid for her fake-flower posy so that she had a bouquet for her own wedding and everything. The piece de resistance was one of my guests having to wrestle a whole f***king fishbowl off of her that she was trying to fit into her handbag – rose petals, floating candle and all! The minx had gathered up some glasses to empty out the water and was now trying to make off with the rest, just because she liked the aesthetic! Well, when we got invited to her wedding (the groom was one of Matt’s friends), she told me that there were spaces at the reception for 80 guests and it would be a “first come first serve” event. It turned out, she’d invited over 230 people who just had to wrestle for a space- super tacky! Anyway, again I just said “oooh.. yeah, the dog, sorry. I can’t get anyone to look after him”. Dogs are pretty useful sometimes 😉

There was also the occasion when we got invited to some “save the chimps” fundraiser too where you pay a small charge per item based on what you eat and and we were expected to donate £5 for the cost of the food we wouldn’t eat even if we didn’t go. like yeah, nah, I’m out. It lost a few friendships and they even went as far as sending me photographs of our shares of the food that we’d “wasted” by not donating the £10 apparently owed for not attending! It also transpired that those friends were saying stuff about me behind my back because of my disabilities too, so no losses, really. I cut them out of my life and I didn’t once look back.

2. When was the last time you ended a relationship of any kind? What was the nature of the relationship?

My god, I’m going to sound like a right b*tch up to Matt, but I had two relationships before we got together, both of which I ended. The first, G, we just weren’t compatible. He told me he was a switch, but he was super submissive and I couldn’t deal. Anytime he addressed me he called me “Mistress”, no matter who was around. He couldn’t contribute anything as to a discussion on what we wanted to do on a date, it would just be “I don’t mind, whatever Mistress wants to do”. I like input, I need input, it tells me what you’re thinking. Oh, and the creme de la creme? He proposed on our seccond date. RUN!

The other guy, R, was sweet and really shared my love for astronomy. He taught me a lot of stuff about the moon and pointed out all kinds of constellations. Unfortunately though, he decided to go back to Ireland and not tell me he was going so when he left, Matt and I got closer again and ended up in a relationship. R messaged me and was hurt that I hadn’t waited for him, but I don’t think we would have worked out in the end anyway. We got along, but he didn’t have much of a sense of humour and I craved a man who has one. He was a fantastic spanker though, and he will always be unforgettable in that regard.

3. Tell us about a phone call or email that you needed to make but were apprehensive to do? Did you ever make the call or send the email?

Anytime I have to make a call, it’s horrendous, I get like an anticipation anxiety. I don’t know when the other person will pick up so I don’t know when I will need to speak, so then I start feeling breathless or like I won’t be able to speak. Answering the phone I’m fine, making the calls? I’m not.

4. Tell us one or two things you do daily as self-care.

I think utmost is using the “Tasks” app to get stuff done. Seriously, just find it on app store maybe, it has a white tick with a multi-coloured background. You can prioritise things and I always do my “red” tasks first, then “orange” and so on. I think also meditating, even just for a few minutes a day. I just sit on my bed, hands on my thighs, palms up and eyes closed. Just that feeling that I am in control, I’m unshakeable. If I feel in control, things will usually stress me less.

5. What are you looking forward to in the holiday season or the coming new year?

Matt’s absolutely right, just seeing the family. My Mum’s had coronavirus, so I’m kind of just celebrating this year that we even still have her, especially after losing Dad last year. We’re just spending a few hours with Matt’s Dad, my Mum and my brother, Just the five of us and our two dogs. As for the New Year? I hate New Year’s Eve, but maybe 3rd January – 14 years of us being together. I don’t know what we’re doing yet. It’s a Sunday, so probably another roast dinner and housework!

Bonus: In what situations, do you wish you could throw down a smoke bomb and disappear?

Sometimes around my family. Sometimes they cook and you’re expected to be really impressed, all the while you’re quietly crying inside because the vegetables haven’t been seasoned and there’s no chilli in their Asian dishes. I love my family dearly, but sometimes I wish I could just disappear instead of telling them the uncomfortable truth about their cooking!

Alright lovelies, that’s it from me for today but I shall be back tomorrow with a fun recipe sent to me from overseas.

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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