Happy New Year’s Eve lovelies,
By now, I hope that whatever plans you have, your preparations are in full swing. I know that this year will be harder for some than others and I know that after a year like 2020, many of us might not even feel like celebrating, anyway.
In our household, New Year’s Eve is always a bone of contention. There’s Matt, who insists on staying up to see in the celebration, and there’s me, who would rather curl up under my weighted blanket, stick my fingers in my ears and deny such an event even exists. I tried to like New Year’s Eve, really I did, it’s just that New Year’s Eve is not in me.
Below, I’ll be laying out 15 reasons I hate this annual tradition. I by no means want it to depress you and if you’re one of those who enjoys the occasion, I sincerely hope that you will have as much fun as you possibly can under the circumstances. Just because I have a loathing for this annual celebration, it doesn’t mean that you need to, too.
1. What’s New?
New year. That;s just it, isn’t it? Everything about the new year, is, well, new. You can’t take your old grudges with you because hey, it’s a new year! Everything has to be new.
The problem is, in order to find my New Year Self after midnight, I have to get to know my Old Year Self first, and nothing sends me into a state of anxiety quite like that self-body scan you’ve just put me through. How do I feel? How have I changed? Who am I now? I don’t feel any different to how I did at 23:54pm on the 31st December. Nothing has changed. Am I doing New Year wrong? Help!
2. Anxiety Isn’t Fun
Speaking of anxiety, can I just point out here that when it comes to having a celebration, if that celebration makes you feel anxious, then that celebration just sucks. I wasn’t anxious on my 18th, I wasn’t anxious on my 21st, heck, I wasn’t even anxious driving to the venue on my wedding day! But every year, around 10pm on 31st December, I start feeling sick, my heart races and my tummy does flip flops. Oh god! All the noise, all the fireworks, all that newness – I can’t cope!
3. Drinking Isn’t Fun, Either
It’s a bit of a shocker, isn’t it? A 32-year-old woman who doesn’t rate getting drunk. Well, suck it up. Don’t get me wrong, I like the taste of alcohol, but I appreciate my alcohol, I don’t appreciate its effects. The first (and only) time I ever had a hangover, I found myself clutching to Matt’s bed, convinced out of my mind that I wouldn’t live to see the next day. I felt hot, sick and dizzy – like severe food poisoning, but 10x worse.
4. Peer Pressure Isn’t Cool
Make no mistake, I love Matt dearly, but if there’s one thing he does that really pisses me off, it’s pressuring me to drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve. Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve and if you don’t have a drink, you aren’t having fun, right? Dare I say it, but I beg to differ. I can have fun listening to my loud music. I can have fun laughing with great people. Just because I can have a laugh and be sipping tea rather than tequila, please don’t underestimate my level of fun.
5. House Parties Are Hell
I’ve been to one New Year’s Eve house party, and for so long as I live, I will say never, ever, ever again. I do stupid shit, but tanking in at the top of them was attending a New Year’s Eve house party. I envisioned sipping drinks and having laughs, but ooh boy, how wrong I was. Fights broke out, people hooked up and fucked in the bathroom while other people queued outside. People snorted lines of cocaine from kitchen countertops and weed was in the air almost everywhere you went. There was nowhere to sleep, there was all-night loud music, drinking and glass smashing regularly. When I did find a corner to unfurl a sleeping bag and squeeze in a cheeky little snooze, I woke up to find myself covered in coca cola and soured squirty cream. Does that sound like your idea of a fun time? Really? It’s not mine.
6. New Year’s Eve Dinner Is Naff
You’re getting pissed, so what’s everyone eating? Freezer pizza and chicken nuggets. Why? To soak up the alcohol. Look, I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve not had my days of alternating mouthfuls of pizza with sips of margarita, because I have, it’s just that these days, I’d much prefer one glass of red, a ribeye steak and peppercorn sauce. Forget about the fizz, just gimme good food.
7. More Costs After Christmas
I can go a bit all out at Christmas, so when the pressure is on to do something big for New Year’s Eve, my pockets feel the squeeze. Christmas is about two things for me; family, and eating lots of good food with family. What’s New Year’s about, really? I don’t need alcohol to ring in the changes. I once went for a New Year’s Day dog walk with some of my special people, and honestly, I much preferred that to this annual piss-up. As an added bonus, I was financially a lot better off, too.
8. Pets & Pyrotechnics
While you’re cooing and ahhing over the pretty lights and explosions, please spare a thought for those of us who spend the evening trying to convince our dogs to stop barking. There are only so many times I can shout about the fireworks and distract the dog with treats. There are only so many times I can apologise to the neighbours because some inconsiderate arsewipe set off another firework at 2am which resulted in another barkfest. We have wooden floors, so if the explosions weren’t problematic enough, feeling the floor shake will terrify the dog, too. It’s great you want to ring in the new year, but please, spare a thought for pets and other people.
9. New Year’s Eve is Noisy, Anyway
It’s not only the dog, for some people, fireworks are scary, too. Growing up, I had a noise intolerance because of my Highly Sensitive nature, and that’s never completely gone away. Today, I’m okay with simple rockets, but some of the other ones out there are loud! Couple that with the dog barking and the New Year’s Eve Hogmanay, the ball drop in Times Square or just about any radio station pumping out non-stop party hits and all of the noises and lights of New Year’s Eve can be incredibly overwhelming.
10. The Perfect Party Host
This has happened too many times, and sorry to say it, but it was always at Matt’s New Year’s Eve parties that it happened. Everybody else would be drinking and socialising, and muggins here present would be cooking and making sure the wings were hot and the pizza supply was constant. On one occasion, I was still pumping out the cooked food when the clock struck 12. Ever fancied being in a hot kitchen to see in the new year? No, me neither, but it happened. When you’re a housewife, you’re kind of expected to cook on New Year’s Eve, too.
11. The Customary Cry
Look, I’m not going to pretend that New Year’s Eve just happens with me, because it doesn’t. Every year, I get emotional. I’m not even drunk, I just get weepy and sentimental, and who wants to be in a house full of friends when that happens? New Year’s Eve is often an emotional time for me, it’s a time for reflection and a time for hope. It’s a time for looking back on resentments and frustrations of the past year and looking forward to bigger, brighter and better things. I need some time to be alone with my own thoughts and to shuffle myself back into looking more like a coherent human being, ready to do battle with the next 365 days.
12. New Year’s Resolutions
Normally, I go against making New Year’s resolutions and yet this year, I decided that I needed one. I know what you’re thinking, maybe it’s about losing weight or training for a marathon, but you’d be wrong. I’ve told myself that this year, I’m going to stop expecting myself to be perfect and allow myself to be simply good enough. Yep, that’s it, but that’s actually surprisingly hard. Imagine the gut-wrenching sadness then when I proudly shared my resolution over Christmas dinner, only for my mother to shrug it off. It turns out, one doesn’t simply make a New Year’s resolution, only a good one will do.
13. Party Pooped
Have you ever noticed how long New Year’s Eve goes on for? It’s not just the last few hours of the night, it’s all bloody day. The party tunes, the talk of the end of the old year, the excitement for the new year (which, for all of the people now in Tier 4, will look even worse than 2020 anyway) . Honestly, by this point (it’s 9:30pm in the UK), I’m completely over New Year’s Eve, I just want it to come and go so we can be over it and I can go to bed. I’m not feeling these “party anthems”, they aren’t my tastes in music. I’m not going to try and feel happy and excited because like a lot of other people, I’m missing my friends and family. I’ll be excited when the bloody thing is over and everyone calms the hell down for another twelve months.
14. New Year’s Day
I have two issues with New Year’s Day. First is the fact that people need one day to recover from the self-inflictions of the other, and then there is how much time gets wasted by us having a New Year’s Day recovery every year. If we say that the average person lives to 80 years of age, that’s 80 days of recovery. If we say they celebrate New Year’s Day from the legal drinking age of 18, that’s still 62 years. or 62 days. That’s a whole two MONTHS lost recovering from something you chose to put yourself through!
15. January 2nd
When people talk about the new year, I think it’s important to remember what we’re really talking about. We’re talking, technically, about 365 days, not just one. Are you as enthusiastic about the other 364 days as you are about that one day? Nope, didn’t think so. Since adopting gratitude, one of the things I’ve learned is not to be so enthusiastic for one thing, and grateful for everything. I’ll be the one wrapped up early on a frosty January morning tomorrow, sipping my tea, enjoying the sights and the sounds of a quiet wintery morning and being ever grateful that I stuck to my guns this evening.
Of course, these are only my sentiments and if you enjoy New Year’s Eve, then I sincerely hope you have fun. Whatever you do (or don’t) decide to do, I wish you a very Happy New Year and many happy returns.
What are your thoughts? Are you breaking open the fizz or seeing 2021 in a little differently?
With all my love,