TMI Tuesday, 09th February 2021: If, Ands, and Butts – Matt Answers

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1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a. Shinier hair, hands down.
b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired.
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.

I am generally happy with what I’ve got but if I had to pick one of the options I would say C. I am a bit of a night owl and never seem to get the recommended 8 hours, as a result, I have bags under my eyes like Ikea Frakta bags!

2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?

  1. My social anxiety – I hate how anxious I can become in social situations so I would throw out that to start with.
  2. Mr Nice Guy – Now this will sound like a strange one so bear with me, I feel like my nicest and eagerness to please has meant that I have missed out on several opportunities at work. I have a book Helen bought for me that I need to read!
  3. Covid weight – I’m sure this will resolute with a lot of people who are reading this, but following lockdown, I have put a little bit of weight on so I would love to shift it.
  4. Clumsiness – I have been clumsy all my life, I think my wife finds it endearing when I’m not wrecking the house but it does get annoying when I have to constantly clean up after myself! 
  5. Self-doubt – I’ve never been very confident and I always second-guess myself so I would like to get rid of my self-doubt so that I can confidently stick to my decisions. 

3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?

Now, this is a question that Mrs S and I have spoken about at length. As its only the 3 of us, I wouldn’t want anything too big. Maybe something in the country with a little pool and a cellar for keeping wine.. naturally!

4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a “happy ending”?

I’ve never been to any sort of massage parlour so I can safely say no happy endings for me!

Bonus: Using the handy chart, what is your butt type, spanked or not?

I have no idea what my ass looks like, to be honest, I’ve never looked at it. My wife informs me I have a “standard issue” so who am I to argue?

Butts and Spanked Butts, by unknown, Dioneo Daspanca 2011

(click to enlarge)

Spankification: Author of original types of butts poster unknown.
Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011

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