TMI Tuesday, 09th March 2021 – Helen Answers (NSFW!)

Good evening lovelies,

At long last, it’s that time of the day. That time where I finally get to sit back, relax and take a peek at today’s questions. Today’s questions are oh so filthy and as usual, I’ve been pondering my answers for hours. Are you excited? Me too. Let’s start!

Caution: These questions are explicit, and as such, the answers shall be explicit. Viewer discretion is advised.

What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome! 

How To Play TMI Tuesday

Copy the TMI Tuesday questions below to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Us Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for our answers!

Your questions will be answered by BOTH of us, unless addressed otherwise. You can leave your questions in the comments below or, if you prefer anonymity, you can email us at hello@twokinkycooks.com.

1. Pick your next sexual encounter. Only pick one, then tell us why that is your choice.
a. Blindfolded during oral sex
b. Sex in a hot tub
c. Sex in an elevator
d. Phone sex
e. Bringing in a third party

Oof, I have to be careful here because there are two men who will be very hungry for my answer and I know that they both read but… well… I’ll take option a., please. Blindfolded, bound, even gagged… it’s all good. Why go half measures if you plan on losing control? Go hard or go home. For me, losing control is the crème de la crème.

As a Type A woman, I am in control a lot. At my core though, I yearn to give up control. There is a world of difference between someone who is in control because they want to be, and someone who is in control because they have to be. Housewives are, generally, the latter. Mums are the go-to parent, wives are the chefs, nurses and cleaners. In our home, Hugo also looks to be to be his play buddy 3-4 times a day and my fish look to me to look after them. Currently, I have desserts to make and freeze, a garden to tidy, mother’s day shopping to do, a home to tidy and maintain, letters to write and this weekends posts to draft, and I have to remember all that I need to do – so it’s actually nice to lose control and forget it all for a while! It’s like I’ve said before, what’s the point in worrying about anything if you’re tied up? It’s pointless. Why do you think Fifty Shades of Grey was so popular? It wasn’t always about the money…

2. When could having sex with an ex be a good thing?

Maybe, maybe if you were both agreed to give it another go, but even then, you need to have overcome what went wrong the first time, if you can. Exes are usually exes for a reason.

3. Have you ever had sex in a public toilet? No judgment. (Oooh you nasty!)

Haha! Funny story, and it’s not what you think! I was visiting one of our favourite old haunts with Matt and I had to visit the facilities, no issues there. I made my way up to the bathroom (up two flights of stairs – which was super annoying!) and walked past the past the first engaged cubicle – you know, it’s the loos, it’s gonna happen. Anyway, I left one to give them some privacy and turned into the next vacant cubicle, no problemo. I locked the door and I heard a girl and a guy’s voice, weird, maybe she’s om the phone to her bloke? Oh Helen, you’re so naïve sometimes! Halfway into my business and I heard plenty of shuffling, a belt buckle and two people making out with plenty of moaning and heavy breathing.

So have I? No. Have I overheard? Absolutely!

4. Car sex is hot or not?

I should imagine it’s much like shower sex; hotter on screen than it is in reality. Slipping on a wet floor and nearly cracking my head open or breaking my poor husband’s dick was not fun for neither he nor I, trust me on this. On the bright side? Once we stopped trying to make the shower extra steamy, it was our favourite place for a no-holds-barred heart-to-heart.

5. What is the most appealing thing about you?

I’m the woman-next-door, hat housewife that nobody suspectst to know her, she captivates you, pulling you in with deep conversation, heady eye contact and hearty giggles. Feminine and hardy at the same time, you realise you’ll never quite know all of her. Who is she? What does she know? What is she into? Logic tells you to hold back, curiosity compels you forward…

Bonus: Some time ago in Geneva, Switzerland, a coffee shop opened where you can get a hot, delicious cup of coffee, with a side of hot, delicious blowjob. That’s right, after you order your coffee you use an ipad to select the sex worker that you want to have give you the blowjob.  A – Would you visit this coffee shop? B – Would you get the blowjob?

Eesh.. my reputation is about to go out of the window here! Would I get the blowjob? Well, obviously I am a woman, so the logical answer is no. However, would I visit the coffee shop? Maybe. Cock worship is something I love and, just because I realise that there are going to be no stones unturned on this blog anymore, I do love me some gloryhole porn, too. I know it’s not real, but as a married woman, just to be able to be uninhibited and carnal like that again? I freaking love it! For me, cock worship isn’t sexual, it’s empowering. If I’m feeling a bit shitty and uncertain with myself, well.. we all know how that going to end.. .

Alright lovelies, I’ll leave you all to go grab a cold shower and maybe take a jog around the block. Don’t forget to check back on Saturday for even more filth 😉

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

Puppy Pic Of The Week:

“Did you mention…. tennis ball?”

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