Here at Two Kinky Cooks, we often refer to BDSM as a “3-for-4 acronym”, which means to say that you’re getting 3 abbreviations from four letters. What they are? Let’s take a look below:

B & D, or Bondage & Discipline, is not quite what people think! When we talk about discipline here, we talk about things like rules, rituals, uniforms and positions (ff you want them), not spankings! There are no hard and fast rules about what that should look like, so have a think about what feels right for you!

D & S, more commonly written as D/s, is Dominance & submission. The ‘submission’ is sometimes written with a lowercase ‘s’ to demonstrate respect to the Dominant partner, however, feel free not to use it if you prefer. D/s also covers a variety of roles, including Master/Mistress, Owner, Daddy/Mommy and slaves, pets (including kittens), babygirls and so on. Dominance & submission is an umbrella term – the labels you use are up to you!

S & M, sometimes written as SM or S/m, is Sadism & Masochism. This is where spanking comes into things! First coined in 1890 by Richard von Krafft-Ebing, Sadism & Masochism is the giving and receiving of pleasure through sensation and pain. Some people think that it is only pain, but this is wrong and it can include really fun things like tickling, too! Whatever wild and twisted fantasies you want to explore under the guise of S & M, make sure your partner agrees!

Do I have to have all three to be into BDSM?

This is a question that BDSM practitioners get asked so often and the answer is a resounding NO! If you’d love the control of tying someone up but can’t imagine ever hurting them, that’s fine. Do you want spanking and flogging but don’t want to give up control? That’s cool too! What matters is not whether or not you’re into BDSM, what matters now is your communication!

Until next time.

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen & Matt xx