Before you jump into the BDSM community, it’s really important that you know what you’re talking about. To help you, we’ve compiled a list of 10 abbreviations you might come across on your journey. How many have you heard before?


1. SSC


The foremost and most popular abbreviation is SSC, which stands for Safe, Sane & Consensual. When you’re starting out, SSC is the best and first one you need to know. Before doing anything kinky, remember SSC. Is it Safe to do- do you know what you’re doing? Is it Sane- is it something that is sensible to do? Is it Consensual – Do you both want to be doing it? If you can answer yes to all three of these questions, then it possibly meets SSC.

2. RACK


Instead of SSC, many more experienced kinksters (ourselves included) preferred to adopt RACK, or Risk Aware Consensual Kink. That doesn’t mean that we forego safety, but it does mean that there is less dispute over whether an activity is safe or sane. We can think about the risks, find ways to overcome them and then decide if we want to proceed or not. However, I would not advise anyone to consider a RACK scene with a partner that you have only just met, as RACK requires an extensive amount of trust and communication from both parties.

3. M/s

Getting more into dynamics now, M/s stands for Master (or Mistress) /slave. In essence, M/s relationships are still Dominant & submissive relationships at their core, but they may have much stricter rules around dress and behaviour, and some may have multiple submissives, or complex relationships consisting of several submissives shared between several Dominants. For some people, an M/s relationships might seem too harsh, but it is important to remember that all dynamics are entered into consensually and nobody is doing anything against their will.

4. O/p

Similar to M/s, O/p stands for Owner/pet. Owner/pet relationships vary between people, with some seeming quite strict, whilst others may appear more playful and loving. O/p relationships involve a submissive partner who enjoys getting back to their primal nature and acting like an animal and a Dominant partner who likes owning them and training them how to behave to please them, hence, an ‘Owner’. Many pets may enjoy acting like puppies, kittens, bunnies, ponies or any other animal, or no animal in particular. Outfits also vary, and many pets simply ‘feel’ their inner animal, in the moment.

O/p can also stand for Ownerships & possession, which sees the submissive partner regarded as property of the Owner.

5. DDlg, or DD/LG

Ever liked calling your partner “Daddy”? Welcome to DDlg! There is absolutely nothing weird about DD/lg, and for many people, it creates a very safe and loving dynamic to be in. Again, tastes and preferences vary widely, and what one person is into won’t be the same for someone else. There are also many variants of these dynamics, including DD/lb (Daddy Dom/little boy), MD/lb (Mommy Domme/little boy), MD/lg (Mommy Domme/little girl) and Cg/l, or Caregiver/little dynamics.

6. Cg/l

Not everyone into who is into the above likes to identify as a Daddy or a Mommy, and so you will sometimes also here of Cg/l, or Caregiver/little. These relationships look very similar to Daddy Dom relationships, but there might not be any specified gender roles.

7. AB/DL

Adult Baby Diaper Lovers, or simply Adult Babies, find great comfort in regressing mentally to a life like that of a baby. They often enjoy wearing diapers, pacifiers and other baby-related paraphernalia, like rattles and toy trains. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with ABDLs, and for many, some youthful regression is simply a welcome break from an otherwise immensely stressful (and very adult!) job.

8. TPE

TPE, or Total Power Exchange, is just that – the giving up of complete control to your partner and allowing them to make all of the decisions for you. For some of us, it’s only fun for a session, for others, it is a lifestyle they choose. TPE and M/s or O/p relationships most frequently go together.

Don’t forget, the keyword here is ‘exchange’. The submissive willingly gives up control to their Dominant partner, nothing about it is forced (unless that’s agreed upon, too!).

9. CBT

When you enter our wicked world, all other CBT’s really don’t look the same. CBT, or Cock & Ball Torture, is exactly that, and it is something that a lot of male submissives enjoy for its intense sensations. It’s nothing to be afraid of, but worth being aware of if you want to join in on the conversation!

10. YKINMK(YKIOK)


YKINMK(YKIOK) is probably the longest abbreviation in BDSM, and is really about kink-shaming. YKINMK(YKIOK) stands for Your Kink Is Not My Kink (Your Kink Is OK). What this means to say is that, even though we don’t necessarily share the same kink as someone else, we won’t judge them for it. Just because someone is into something you might find really strange or weird doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with them, it’s just a kink. Kink-shaming is cruel, hurtful and unnecessary. Remember YKINMK(YKIOK), and just as importantly, remember that your kink really is okay – whatever your kink maybe!

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen & Matt xx